Ways To Annoy Monsters (With Travis Stoll)
by CelestiaEstella
Summary: Travis Stoll writes a list of ways to annoy monster.
1. 1-5

**This is a quick story I wrote, I feel like Travis would totally do this.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of Rick Riordan's amazing characters.**

How to annoy monster (because it's sane and safe):

1. If you are battling a bunny-like giant, run around it screaming "switch your seat, switch your seat!"

2. On that note, you can also try to feed them carrots (or any other cylinder object, I prefer glow sticks).

3. If you're with an Empousa, limp around, everywhere. If that doesn't work, then started braying like a donkey.

4. When you're with a Minotaur, take a red cape and yell "_corrida _bull, _corrida_!" If you want to piss them off even more (because that is the safest thing to do with monsters) invite your friends! *wink* Katie, Conner *wink*

5. If you're with Cerberus, take your cat on a nice, lovely stroll around him (extra points if you rub yourself with meat).

**There you go, I love Travis! :)**


	2. 6

**I'm back with more Travis! So read on!**

**Disclaimer: As much as I want to, I don't own any of these characters, Rick Riordan does.**

6. _If_ _you happen to be with a Cyclopes, ask them where they get there sunglasses, or any glasses._

It was a cool autumn day, the leaves swirled around the Big House, and the year round campers enjoyed themselves by the fire. Or at least that's what I'd imagine it looked like, I wasn't exactly_ at_ Camp Half-Blood. No I was run down gas station, with my "amazing" brother Conner. He had gotten us lost. It was supposed to be a simple grab-and-go, but no, he got lost. The store was a mile away, let me repeat that, one mile, and he got lost.

"Where should we go now?" He asked me.

"I don't know, this wasn't my idea," I shot back.

"Dude, look at that," Conner told me. He pointed to a rusty telephone booth.

"No, if anybody's getting killed it's you, by me."

"Come on, I'll guard you," he pleaded.

"Whatever." I went into the phone booth and dialed Camp's number. It rang a few times before somebody picked up.

"Hello?"

"Katie?"

"Travis? What are you doing? Where are you?"

"Umm, we're a bit lost, could you help us?"

"No!"

"How am I going to get back then, please help, pretty please with cherries on top," I begged.

"I'll ask Chiron," she told me.

"TRAVIS!" Conner yelled. "Get out here!" I shot out to find Conner cornered by a female Cyclopes. She was about to bash him on the head with tree branch. I had to act quickly.

"Hey ugly!" I shouted, she turned around, but then went back to Conner. Holy Zeus,

"Yo, Miss Mary, how much mascara you got on? A pound?" She lumbered away from him to me. _Got to keep her distracted_ I thought. "So Miss Mary, where do you get you sunglasses, can you even wear sunglasses?" I asked. Her only response was a roar. "Do you have a special someone? Is that why you have gallons of make-up on your face? Or is it just to hide hideous?" Her face started to turn as red as a fire truck. I saw Conner behind her, only a few more seconds of distraction. "So Miss Mary, what do you do for a living, are you a before picture in Cyclopes Glamour?" She lunged for me the second Conner stabbed her, dissolving into golden mist in mid-air. He grinned at me.

"Thanks man, but what were those jokes? Gods those were awful," He said. I just grinned baack.

**This is different than Chapter One, tell me if you like it more or less. **


	3. 7

**Special thanks to dramaqueen5611. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of this, Rick Riordan does (but someday I still might)**

7. _Tell a Laistrygonian Giant he should play in the NBA, or the NFL, then enforce it, or pretend to be their cheerleader._

"Travis, if I don't get out of this alive, I'm going to kill you!" Katie said in a hushed whisper.

"That doesn't make any since, and I didn't know he would attack us," I told her.

"Whatever, we never should have gone off of camp grounds."

"I was trying to be nice." I made a face, but she was probably right. I had convinced her to go out of camp with me. So we went to a beach right outside the boundaries, and it was going great until a Laistrygonian Giant made a friendly visit. Now we were stuck with no weapons facing a freaking giant. GIANT!

"Okay, here's the plan," she declared, breaking the silence. "You keep his attention on you, and then I'll knock him out, sound good?"

"Yep." I grimaced then stood up and walked out of the foliage. "Hey, hey, you, you!" I sung in a high-pitched voice. The giant grunted a swung around to face me. "Ya know, you could like, totally play for the NFL with all that muscle!" I said in my valley girl impersonation. He tilted his head sideways.

"OMG, right? It's such a great idea, I'm like so genius sometimes." The giant (which I named Jo) started towards me, but I held my ground. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Katie heaving a large rock over to where we were. "Oh no! Like, there is something totally wrong with your face. How are we going to get sponsors? No one would sponsor you! And Amanda Bynes would like, so hate on you. Ugh! Life is so difficult!" This was getting annoying, and Jo was getting close enough for me to smell his rotten egg odor. "Whatever, we can just put some make-up over those… blemishes?" That was apparently the last straw, Jo grabbed for me and I ran.

"Katie! Help me," I screamed, my voice a 'little' higher than usual. She responded immediately, jumping on Joe's back and whacking him over the head so hard he fell over, I scrambled out of the way just as he collapsed where I was just standing. I walked up to her and held out a fist, she glared at me.

"Hurry," she ordered. We got out of there quicker than you could've said Stoll_._ Katie guided us back to camp in no time, if she had done this before, we wouldn't have gotten into that mess. We stumbled onto the beach and I was about to head back to my cabin when she grabbed my hand.

"Don't tell anyone, unless you want Chiron to find out about the strawberries." I gulped, a prank gone wrong. "But hey," she said softly. "We don't such a bad team." She looked up at me for a moment, as if making up her mind, then quickly kissed me on the cheek. She turned and walked away. "Night Stoll," she called over her shoulder

**I put some Tratie in this chapter. Tell me if you had any suggestions for the next chapter. Hope y'all enjoyed. **


	4. The End

**Hey, sorry for not updating, school has been hectic. So this is my last chapter, just a wrap up, I think I'm going to do a OUAT story. Leave a comment if you have any ideas. **

**Disclaimer: All rights go to… Rick Riordan (but I could be him with that cliffhanger)**

_Not annoying monsters… (Twenty years later)_

"Travis, I will not let you write that one down. No, no, stop it," Katie snapped. We were in our sitting at the dining room table, arguing whether or not to put the story about Katie's… Accident.

"But Katie, it's the best story. I couldn't stop laughing for weeks after it happened," I desperately begged.

"Yeah, by 'best story' you mean the one most likely to make Katie look like an idiot."

"Fine, we won't, but then we get to put the Alcatraz one in."

"Whatever," she groaned. "I'm happy as long as you're almost finished with this stupid list." She rolled her eyes then pushed herself up. She gave me a peck on the lips and patted me on the chest. "I'm going up to bed, be quiet when you come in."

"Sure," I told her, trying to think of one more story to write down. I came up blank, there was nothing more to do, I was finally finished. "Katie, wait up!" I called.

**That's the end of this story. Hope ya'll like it.**


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